Marion Bloem's Vrijheid/ Kemerdekaan/ Freedom

I was browsing this Dutch news portal when I came upon an article on Marion Bloem who encourages her Facebook pals to translate her poem Vrijheid into as many languages as possible. I've no idea who she is, I don't know her on Facebook either, but I'll do a translation anyways into both English and Indonesian because that is how I roll.

For the original Dutch poem go here.

Indonesian translation (last updated: 5/16/12):

Kemerdekaan

Jika arti merdeka: diam kau
karena aku hendak bicara

Jika arti merdeka: kau di balik jeruji,
supaya kami tak perlu takut
akan segala rupa dan adatmu
yang berbeda

Jika arti merdeka: memasung mentari hari esok
dengan cara sedikit meredupkan
mentari hari ini

Jika arti merdeka: menutup pintu
dan di layar menyaksikan dengan merdeka apa-apa
yang mestinya tak bakal datang kemari

Jika arti merdeka: selalu tidur nyenyak
karena lidah orang lain telah dengan sengaja
dibelenggu

Jika arti merdeka: makan apa dan kapan kau kehendaki
tapi dengan menjatuhkan kulit ari ke dalam koran
tempat kelaparan diberangus

Jika arti merdeka: tak perlu tahu apa
yang memerdekakanku, yang mempertahankan kemerdekaanku,
yang setiap hari menyekapku dalam kemerdekaan

Jika kemerdekaan berarti: menunggu sampai yang lain
memerdekakanku dari ketakutan-ketakutan
yang kuyakini dengan teguh

Jika kemerdekaan menurap pemikiranku
Jika kemerdekaan di sekitarku terbang di mana-mana sekeliling
dan dalam diriku,
tapi ia tak tertangkap olehmu

Jika kemerdekaan melindungi aku
terhadap gagasan-gagasanmu yang
kelewat asing bagiku

Jika kemerdekaan hari ini
bagiku adalah begitu lumrah, tapi kau
tak bisa memaknakannya

Maka kemerdekaan adalah ekor bagiku
dan pancung kepala bagimu
Maka kemerdekaan adalah angin dan sewenang-wenang

Tapi mungkin – dengan persetujuan bersama tentunya – aku
untuk sementara waktu
atau pun untuk waktu yang lebih lama
boleh melepaskan sedikit dari kemerdekaanku
yang berlimpah-limpah ini
untuk memerdekakanmu dari kemerdekaanku
yang menyesakkan

Marion Bloem

English translation (last updated: 5/1/12):

Freedom

If being free means: you, shut up
because I have something to say

If being free means: you behind bars
so that we don’t have to fear
your being different
and all your different doings

If being free means: defining strictly
the day of tomorrow by making the day of today
a bit less of a day

If being free means: closing the doors
and freely watching on the screen
that which should be safely away

If being free means: sleeping at ease always
because others have been wilfully deprived
of their tongue

If being free means: eating what and when you want
though peels are being dropped into newspapers
where hunger is concealed

If being free means: not needing to know what
has freed me, keeps me free, confines me every day
in freedom

If freedom means: waiting for others
to free me of fears in which I
have profound trust

If freedom plasters my thoughts
If freedom around me blows everywhere in
and about me, but
remains elusive to you

If freedom protects me against
your ideas which I
deem too different

If freedom today
seems so natural to me, though you
don't know what it means

Then freedom is tails to me
and heads off to you
Then freedom is air and arbitrary

But perhaps – by mutual consent of course –
I am at liberty
to either temporarily or for a longer period of time
cede some of my ample freedom
to free you
of my suffocating
freedom

Marion Bloem

tChron holiday recipe

Like all great things, this recipe came about following an accident. An accident, you say? Why, yes, an accident.

As a kid in Holland, at a chips-and-lemonade event organized by the local community centre where you had to peel and cut your own potato, I accidentally tipped over my plastic cup with lemonade, which spilled onto my plate of freshly deep-fried chips. Guffaws all around, but, to my surprise, the lemonade-soaked chips tasted rather good. It was so good, I offered people left and right to have some please. Them guffaws died down, then ceased all together, and with a shrug I proceeded to dig in. Their loss.

Today we're going to re-enact the recipe step by step:

Lemonade-soaked Chips

Ease of Preparation: Easy
Serves one

Chips

• 2 spuds
• pinch of salt

Peel spuds and cut into long rectangular shapes. Rinse until water runs clear. Dab with a kitchen-cloth to get them as dry as you can.

Deep-fry over medium heat for about 20 minutes. The idea is to cook the inside without burning the outside. Lift out of oil. Set aside.

Crank the heat all the way up. Slide the half-done chips back in and fry until golden brown. Lift out of oil. Season with salt. Serve in a deep plate.

Lemonade
Anything you have available. Feel free to experiment. Serve in a 200ml plastic cup.

While the chips are still hot, pour, say, half a cup of the lemonade over the chips. The idea is to create a puddle in the middle of the plate; we don't want to drown them. Enjoy!

tChron Xmas Special

One thing to look forward to during the holidays is of course the TV specials. At least, that used to be the case way back when.

When I was a kid, come Christmas Eve, I would be looking forward to, say, a Disney special which would feature the classics and all them quacky and goofy Disney characters. But I knew I would miss the show because I had to attend service that may or may not be followed by a family get-together at my grandparent's (during which, somehow, I would forget all about television).

So, to make up for all the Xmas specials I missed as a kid, and since I don't trust today's television programming, I have decided to produce my very own tChron Xmas Special featuring stuff from way back when with the one and only André van Duin:



Yes, the word you're looking for is gezellig, a Dutch word which roughly translates to 'sociable'.



You have a good one.

So... we was watching VCDs 4

True Grit (2010). Ethan Coen and Joel Coen directed and wrote this western proper based on a 1969 novel of the same title by Charles Portis.

Just going from a handful of Coen movies I've seen so far – Fargo (1996), The Big Lebowski (1998), Burn After Reading (2008) – I'd say the Coen brothers do a mean job at creating characters which are as original as they are relatable, not to mention that they are expert at painting the local colour.

In True Grit the Coen brothers dropped their guard – albeit slightly – and allowed U.S. Marshal Rooster Cogburn (older and washed-out, Jeff Bridges) and Texas Ranger LaBoeuf (younger and stalwart, Matt Damon) to come over as stereotypical and cartoonish. Watching the interplay between Cogburn and LaBoeuf you kind of recognize what they aimed for, but that they had just missed the mark.

Cogburn and LaBoeuf are trying to track down Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin) though Cogburn is in employment of Mattie Ross (Hailee Steinfeld) and LaBoeuf of the Texas Rangers. Ross is out to avenge her father's death and, at 14 years of age, displays a precociousness that's pushing it – even for the Wild West.

Brolin's Chaney, though given only a bit part, rings more true, as does his boss Lucky Ned Pepper (Barry Pepper), who steals the show actually. Both Brolin and especially Pepper look suitably haggard and make the most of their limited screen time by layering their characters.

Keep an eye out for Bear Man (Ed Corbin), the Tom Bombadil of the Wild West, who has no other purpose, apparently, other than looking magnificent.

(Running time: 110 minutes)

Moonlight Shadow

I heard a song once on Dutch television as a kid. It was sung by a lady and on that song she also played the flute, which lent the whole thing an ambient feel. Moreover, the performance was shot at Efteling.

Now, every kid in Holland worth his liquorice has at least heard of the theme park Efteling. It's a place of wonderment where merrymaking is to be had; it's a place where fairy tales come to live. It is quite a magical place. I thus forever came to associate the song with wonderment and enchantment, though I had no idea what the song was about, which was sung in English and of which the only word I could catch was "shadow".

It was only recently that I heard the song for a second time – after a lifetime has passed – thanks to Google and Youtube. Turns out the song came out in 1983 and was written by Mike Oldfield and was originally sung by Maggie Reilly, of whom both I had never heard of. The song is titled quite poetically "Moonlight Shadow".

I could locate the original clip with Reilly but not the one I saw as a kid. I suppose I could also look up the lyrics to the song but I've deliberately chosen not to: I want the song to mean whatever I make it to be and in so doing make it all mine.

Here then "Moonlight Shadow":

My 3 all-time guitar heroes

In its list of the "100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time", Rolling Stone placed Edward Van Halen at #8, Slash at #65, and omitted Buckethead altogether. Needless to say, that list is wrong.

Lists usually are, except when a list is made by you. Then stuff is sweet. Then stuff is right. So I'll just go ahead and make my own list and title it "My 3 All-time Guitar Heroes":

#3 Buckethead
Kudos to Axl Rose for exposing me to Buckethead. For a while Buckethead played lead guitar for the new Guns N' Roses and when he didn't anymore, I made a point of finding more Buckethead music on Youtube. When I stumbled upon a video of Buckethead prancing on stage with the new Guns N' Roses wearing a cape, I just knew: me and him, we're gonna be tight.

"Big Sur Moon" from the album Colma (1998):




#2 Edward Van Halen
I knew of Van Halen. I heard them on the radio – "Panama" – and I thought the video clip for "Hot for Teacher" was funny. I also thought they were loud, but that their music also brimmed with personality. Only much later did I find out that the Van Halen brothers hailed from Holland (which made perfect sense once I pronounced "Van Halen" the Dutch way), had some Indonesian in them, and that to properly appreciate Edward's playing you needed to hear it through earphones: If you close your eyes you can see sunshine and orange trees and scantily clad ladies dancing to his guitar. A musician's musician, Edward's playing continues to evolve and mature over time.

"Once" from the album Van Halen III (1998):




#1 Slash
Slash got me through puberty and for that alone I owe him everlasting allegiance. He continues to be an inspiration even today: professionally, personally – he's not infallible; I know he's not, but he has also no qualms of grabbing life by the cojones. I saw Slash live at Istora Gelora Bung Karno, Jakarta, on August 3rd, 2010 (set list). I walked in a fan with my hands trembling and walked away half-deaf and with respect: larger-than-life rock 'n' roll persona aside, turns out the man is a consummate pro.

Slash covering "Hey Joe" at the UK Music Hall of Fame (2005):

Let's meet André van Duin

The funniest man of Holland. Hands down.

I introduced him earlier in a tweet with a link to a short sketch that sums up the gist of André Van Duin's comic mojo. In that sketch, Jos Brink (a famous Dutch artist), sitting on your right-hand side, can't handle the mojo and cracks up. Here it is again, for your viewing pleasure:


Which brings us to the next sketch. The mojo's there, no know-how of Dutch is needed, so all's good. It's shot outdoors on the sidewalk of a cafe and Van Duin plays a drifter ordering a fl. 3.35 open sandwich with chips and eggs. Prompted by the waiter (Frans van Dusschoten, often playing the sensible one to Van Duin's zany characters), the drifter proceeds to cobble together the money in small change from all over on his person. Satisfied, the waiter dutifully cobbles together the sandwich:

This is the Tuschinski

The Tuschinski is an art deco cinema in Amsterdam where, growing up in Holland, I saw E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982), The Return of the Jedi (1983), Ghostbusters (1984), and Back to the Future (1985).

The red carpeting in the lobby and the copper rope stanchions demarking the box office left an indelible impression on me. It's as if they're saying: going to the movies is a special thing. But why tell you, when I can show you:

[Dreamful of Tuschinski ~ a resident of Amsterdam relives the evening that changed her life forever. It all began at Tuschinski. Sometimes it's hard on her when the evening unfailingly turns into a new day.]

My S & W album collection

S & W standing for Suske and Wiske, and album meaning comic book. The characters and the comic books with their characteristic orange cover are quite popular over there in Holland.

My collection consists of 41 comic books, which looks more bulky in reality than it sounds on paper. Speaking of sounds, the comic books are renowned for their quirky titles. Here then a lesson in double Dutch:

#68 Het Eiland Amoras
#70 De Spokenjagers
#76 De Ijzeren Schelvis
#77 De Apekermis
#85 De Schone Slaper
#87 De Vliegende Aap
#88 De Tamtamkloppers
#89 De Dolle Musketiers
#101 De Kaartendans
#103 De Klankentapper
#104 De Wilde Weldoener
#107 De Sprietatoom
#110 De Zingende Zwammen
#113 Het Geheim van de Gladiatoren
#119 Het Sprekende Testament
#124 Het Vliegende Bed
#135 De Gekke Gokker
#136 De Bokkerijders
#137 De Ringelingschat
#150 Het Spaanse Spook
#154 Rikki en Wiske in Chocowakije
#164 De Raap van Rubens
#165 De Sputterende Spuiter
#174 Het Statige Standbeeld
#175 De Kadulle Cupido
#183 De Toffe Tamboer
#186 De Rosse Reus
#189 De Belhamel-Bende
#197 Het Delta Duel
#199 De Tamme Tumi
#200 Amoris van Amoras
#202 Angst op de "Amsterdam"
#205 De Kattige Kat
#206 De Bonkige Baarden
#208 De Hellegathonden
#246 De Vonkende Vuurman
#249 De Razende Race
#252 Volle Maan
#266 De Kernmonsters
#273 De Europummel
* Beter voor Bert

Don't say I never gave you anything.

TRON: Elegy

I went to Google.com, as I'm apt to do, and was met with the words "Steve Jobs, 1955-2011" written under the search bar. I mentioned the man only days ago in a post on TRON: Legacy.




Steve Jobs, man. When I put stuff out, I want the stuff to be Apple.

So... we was watching VCDs 3

TRON: Legacy (2010), man. How the hell can something this cool come from Disney?

Jeff Bridges stars as Kevin Flynn, a Steve Jobs type of IT visionary who has found a way for people to physically enter and roam the grid as packets of information. Flynn, however, gets trapped inside the electronic world and it's up to his son, Sam (Garrett Hedlund), to save the day with the help of Quorra (Olivia Wilde), a grid local, shall we say.

A battle then erupts between good and evil that plays out against a futuristic soundtrack and a lavish backdrop of which combination renders the whole experience as trippy as The Wizard of Oz, as epic as Star Wars, and as original as The Matrix. The only blemish I find, however, is the casting of Michael Sheen as Castor – that part seems to be made with David Bowie in mind.

I rooted for Bridges in Starman (1984). He's paid his dues and this is sweet pay-off.

(Running time: 125 minutes)

So I saw 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes'

It wasn't the apes. It was capitalism killed humanity.

Capitalism in this instance being represented by private bioengineering outfit Gen-Sys. Researcher Will Rodman (James Franco) is on the brink of discovering a breakthrough cure for Alzheimer's involving a particular virus strain and is testing the drug on chimps. Assisting him is lab techie Robert Franklin (Tyler Labine of Reaper the TV series fame), who discovers that something is terribly amiss even when Gen-Sys boss Steven Jacobs (David Oyelowo) pushes to fast-track proceedings to start bringing in the greenbacks.

Unbeknownst to Jacobs, what he's really done is fast-tracking humanity's demise. So, when generations later Cracked.com would run an article on ten things that did humanity in, Rodman and Jacobs would rank way up on the list, which I don't suppose is a good thing, especially when the article would literally be written by wisecracking chimps.

Rise is a bad case of Murphy's Law that taps into today's zeitgeist for inspiration. 

(Running time: 105 minutes)

That song association game

Today we're going to play a game where I associate songs to places; places I've had the pleasure to call home.

Bogor
My favourite city. The year is 1994, I'm in my first year of college and Sheryl Crow's All I Wanna Do, Dada's Dizz Knee Land, and Counting Crows' Mr. Jones get heavy airtime and form a soundtrack to that particular year, but none so more than:

It was a late afternoon and I was in my room when I heard the song playing from a television set in the room opposite mine. I went to check it out and concluded that the singer in the video clip was a cool cat and that the song summed up where I was at the moment: clean air, excited to be away from my parental home, exhilarated to be going to college, grateful to be going to college at all, ambitious.

Wormerveer (NL)
My hometown. Recently I've come to appreciate how big an influence my childhood has had on my adult life: soccer, the books I read, the movies I watched, Saturday morning cartoons, the teachers at school, family gatherings at my grandparents'. The Doobie Brothers' Listen to the Music, which I got exposed to when a cover band was practising at the yellow-painted community centre, and Spandau Ballet's Through the Barricades are all reminders of these, but none so more than:

After I took in the video clip on TV I might have stepped outside the door and into the crisp air – the sky featuring wisps of white clouds but otherwise clear and blue, the apartment building blocking the sun and casting a shadow onto the street below – and trying to decide how to spent the rest of the day in ways that should be nothing less than most excellent.

My top-3 all-time favourite chow

And they are, in no particular order:

1) Hamburgers
As a kid, during weekend outings with my folks to Amsterdam the highlight would be a stop at McDonald's for a Happy Meal consisting of a hamburger, fries, and a soft drink all served up in a UFO. The mayonnaise they served was out of this world and made a perfect match with the fries, but the star was the hamburger. Even to this day I prefer the hamburger (beef patty, pickles, onions, ketchup, mustard, golden bun) over any other burgers at McDonald's (e.g. the cheeseburger).

2) Spaghetti
As a kid, before a soccer match on Saturdays, I would have spaghetti to boost my performance on the pitch. We used ketchup back then, but we know better now. Now we use olive oil and canned tomatoes and, if we have it, a splash of red wine. I like minced beef as opposed to meatballs in my spaghetti, which I don't brown but add directly into the sauce to save time (thanks for the tip, Chef Michael Smith).

3) Sate Ayam Madura
Madurese chicken satay. I have to be very specific now: it has to be chicken, it has to be Madurese, it has to be served with peanut sauce (as opposed to soy sauce). They had satay in the Netherlands but it was only after I got to Indonesia that I got exposed to and could fully appreciate the true art of satay making. I prefer regular white rice to rice rolls to go with my satay along with a bowl of goat soup on the side (but only if the good satay man has it available, of course).

Honourable mention:

Beef Rendang
Home-made and prepared with a spice plan so magnificent I rechristened the dish 'Star Wars Episode VII'.

So... we was watching VCDs 2

When I grow up I want to have the awesome powers of Gareth Edwards, writer and director of Monsters. For now I just like to wear black jeans, like Trent Reznor, who did the score to The Social Network.

The Social Network (2010)
A recount of the dispute between Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) and ex-girlfriend Erica Albright (Rooney Mara); between Zuckerberg and fellow Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield); and between Zuckerberg and the trio of opportunistic brats made up of twins Cameron/ Tyler Winklevoss (both played by Armie Hammer) and Divya Narendra (Max Minghella) – all relating to the creation of social networking website Facebook; all victims of Zuckerberg's nerdishness; all made insignificant under his shadow. The only person he seems to get along with is geek Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake) who, after having watched this movie, I like to call the Leprechaun of the Internet Highway. Watch at the risk of feeling dwarfed by Zuckerberg.

(Running time: 120 minutes)

Monsters (2010)
The plot is a mixture of Jurassic Park (1993), The Mist (2007), and District 9 (2009) though what sets this movie apart is the degree of realism writer/ director Gareth Edwards brings. Each time he introduces a character or characters you feel like you know them, that you've somehow been in their shoes. Edwards never says stuff, he describes it, and he does so in a way that will have you make this movie a benchmark from which to compare any other movies.

So, he describes Andrew Kaulder (Scoot McNairy) as cynical and Samantha Wynden (Whitney Able) as perceptive by how they interact with each other and with the environment, i.e. an extraterrestrial-infected zone somewhere in Mexico, and from their efforts to make it back stateside.

The ETs (the monsters) could well be inspired by the grip drug cartels have over the country – they rarely make an appearance but their presence is unmistakable – and by global terrorism and its impact on policies. I say inspired by because I doubt they're metaphorical.

Will humankind prevail? If the melancholic note on which the movie ends is any indication, I would say: no, we won't.

(Running time: 94 minutes)

So I saw 'Transformers: Dark of the Moon' (in 3D)

A few years back, during summertime, a shopping mall in Jakarta featured a flying trapeze act from Russia. When the performers made their entrance at the centre of the mall's atrium and underneath the safety net it was quite the spectacle and as they climbed up and took their posts, all eyes followed their every move.

The first couple of manoeuvres had my attention but when the supposedly highlight of the set proved more of the same (a triple as opposed to a single somersault) I found myself lowering my expectations though I could still appreciate the innocent quality of it all – at the end of the day, these people are just trying to show you and yours a good-time.

They were aware of this, of course, that you and yours have seen it before in some way, shape or form. Therefore, like the BBC television series Top Gear, they had to end on a bombshell. Which they did.

Suspended upside down from a bar, the lead flyer let himself pull up all the way to the ceiling. From where I stood (third floor) I could see crew members with walkie-talkies operating the pulley. But before I knew what was going on – blink and miss it – he let go and dive-bombed onto the safety net. Whatever your thoughts were before, you're definitely impressed now.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is that human dive-bomber.

(Running time: 157 minutes)

My top 5 all-time favourite books

And they are, in no particular order:

1) On Writing (5/5)
Stephen King
Fan or no fan, you've got to admit that King knows his way around the typewriter. In this memoir he lets it all hang out. Two lessons stand out:

1. Describe it, don't say it;
2. Adjectives are bad.

2) The Lord of the Rings (5/5)
J.R.R. Tolkien
The prose, the characters, the whole set up. Brilliant. Lesson learned: Hear it in your head first, then write it down. Fluid prose every time.

3) The Pillars of the Earth (5/5)
Ken Follett
I've had a craving for stories set in medieval times ever since childhood and this novel cured me of it. Things aren't that much different then from now after all.

4) Jurassic Park (5/5)
Michael Crichton
Crichton's masterpiece. Nothing ever came close before or after this. Great prologue.

5) Slash (4/5)
Slash & Anthony Bozza
Only four stars for you, mister, simply because I expected more, more, more. My only hardback on this list.

Honourable mention:

The Grand Design (5/5)
Stephen Hawking & Leonard Mlodinow
I've got the feeling I got the universe all figured out after reading this. Essential reading.

So... we was watching VCDs

Because some movies you just have to take home.

Splice (2009)
A modern-day take on Frankenstein's monster as genetic engineers Clive Nicoli (Adrien Brody) and Elsa Kast (Sarah Polley) go about playing God only to find out they are not. It starts out as science fiction before segueing into psychological horror as you begin to realize that the whole thing isn't that far-fetched.
(Running time: 104 minutes)

Inception (2010)
Christopher Nolan, I like his style. If he had written Alice in Wonderland, it would've been titled Inception. Watching a Nolan movie makes you feel smarter. You may not necessarily understand the movie, perhaps not during the first viewing, but you feel smarter anyhow. I call this the Nolan Paradox. You heard it here first.
(Running time: 148 minutes)

Devil (2010)
John Erick Dowdle directs based on a whodunit penned by M. Night Shyamalan. I suspect that Dowdle is Night's alias or something as the movie has all of his trademarks. Night's had, perhaps, taken the mickey one time too many, and unfairly so, I might add, simply for having had committed the sin of putting the storytelling back into onscreen stories.
(Running time: 80 minutes)

Hereafter (2010)
The lives of three persons intersect after having had a brush with death in some way, shape or form. Despite the underlying theme the movie is quite uplifting, and riveting as human drama makes for the best stories, and director Clint Eastwood is apparently privy to this. Has the best opening scene ever.
(Running time: 129 minutes)

So I saw 'Source Code'

The things that are going on at the atomic and subatomic levels are so bizarre, scientists have felt it necessary to come up with theories that are even more bizarre. Such as the idea that there are many worlds instead of just this one as universes are created each time you make a decision not only to accommodate the decision that you did make but also the ones you did not make.

Or the power the act of observation has over an outcome of an event. This theory has it that until you make an observation, things are on a fence and can go any which way.

So, for example, in a football match between Barcelona and Real Madrid, until you turn on your television set (and make an observation), anything is a probability: Barcelona might've scored, Madrid might've scored, a UFO might be hovering over the stadium and everybody's looking up. Not only are these probabilities, they are actually happening, all at once… somehow, somewhere. But once you turn on the TV, you will only see one outcome.

The branch of physics that studies atoms and subatomic particles is quantum mechanics and the many-worlds and the power-of-observation theories were developed based on quantum mechanics and are respectively known as the Multiverse Theory and the Copenhagen Interpretation, and judging by these alone I'd say scientists are freaked out by it. It sure makes for good movie fodder, though.

In Source Code, Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) works for an experimental military project and he's sent out on a mission where he has to figure out who the perpetrator of a powerful train bomb is, whilst riding on that very train, and he has eight minutes flat. Or more precisely, cycles of eight minutes flat because each time he comes up empty-handed after the eight minutes are up, he's sent straight back to that exact same spot in space and time where he started off eight minutes ago.

He's not physically present on the train, though, as the real him is sequestered in some sort of capsule where his only link to the outside world is Colleen Goodwin (Vera Farmiga) by means of a small screen that provides audio-visual communication. Which means that we see a lot of facial close-up shots of Stevens and Goodwin, and occasionally also that of their boss Dr. Rutledge (Jeffrey Wright), who speaks in a Darth Vader-ey voice.

We want to believe in the story because of what we can read from Gyllenhaal's face. He makes it safe for us to invest emotionally in the story, which goes a layer deeper than meets the eye with commentary made on decency and the value of human lives. A lesser actor would've ruined the movie. Also, Farmiga has pretty eyes.

Let's hope Source Code will be the first of many other high-profile quantum movies in order to get a discourse going with the masses because the masses should be made aware of this weird shit. That's right, I just said I want Hollywood to enlighten us.

(Running time: 93 minutes)

So I saw 'Battle for Terra' (in 3D)

Science fiction is to me what astronaut Mike Dexter is to Liz Lemon of 30 Rock: an opportunity to fool yourself with a big grin on your face. Needless to say, Battle for Terra pulled me in like a tractor beam in overdrive.

Turns out this bad boy is animated, and was released in 2007. I didn't see that coming, certainly not from the film poster, which draws the eyes to an advancing spacecraft resembling a B-wing starfighter of Star Wars. To make a long story short, I was expecting something more in the vein of Avatar (2009) rather than Gnomeo & Juliet (2011), but what we have instead is a mixture of both.

Mala (Evan Rachel Wood) and Senn (Justin Long) are inhabitants of a planet called Terra. They are a people that embrace life and venerate peace. They also float, which would make sense if they lived underwater like SpongeBob SquarePants but they don't – like us on Earth, they live in an atmosphere of air. And they speak English, just like the humans whom are soon to invade their idyllic existence.

The story makes references to stuff that play on people's mind today: our destructive ways, our eventual fate, making contact with aliens. But it's neither a commentary nor an allegory as it uses these elements simply to craft a sci-fi adventure. It has no pretences, and that is its saving grace.

(Running time: 85 minutes)

So I saw 'The Hole'

What the hell, local cinema chain, this movie came out in 2009. Anyway, I felt like being scared and I was sure The Green Hornet (2011) wouldn't do.

Teenager Dane (Chris Massoglia) and his little brother Lucas (Nathan Gamble) move into a small town where their single mom, Susan (Teri Polo), is trying to land a job. Whilst their mom's away during the day, the brothers horse around, make their acquaintance with next-door hottie Julie (Haley Bennett), and discover a dark hole in their basement.

Now, this isn't exactly The Exorcist (1973), but it's real in that it's aware of what it's not, and realness goes a long way. Plus, it has an evil clown doll that raised the hair on my arms.

And that's real too.

(Running time: 92 minutes)

So I saw 'Altitude'

Whoever dreamed up this movie probably asked himself this question: what if you had a giant squid up in the clouds? In all fairness, that's a *great* question.

Canadian teens Sara (Jessica Lowndes), Mel (Julianna Guill), Cory (Ryan Donowho), Bruce (Landon Liboiron), and Sal (Jake Weary) decide to go to see Coldplay but, this being Canada, the quickest way to get to the gig is by air. And so that's what they do, in a twin engine airplane.

Sara (the mature one) pilots, though her friends don't put much trust in her skills. She assures them all is fine but loses the plot anyhow when the skies turn unfriendly.

Inside the claustrophobic cabin personalities get amplified and Sal (douche), who has been chugging away beers, decides to act up, upsets his girlfriend Mel (chick) in the process, and gets to find out that his buddy Cory (sensitive guitar player) has feelings for Mel while Bruce (the silent one) freaks everybody out as he's hit by a pang of angst.

And this all even before the squid gets to make its appearance.

Now, it'd be easy to dismiss the movie as Cloverfield (2008) on a budget except that it's just as good if not even better. Let's just say that it has whetted my appetite for Monsters (2010) of which I've learned about only recently.

(Running time: 90 minutes)

So here's my grand super-duper idea for a TV-comedy crossover movie

It takes place in the Big Apple and it brings together -- have a load of this -- 30 Rock, The Office, Everybody Loves Raymond, *and* Curb Your Enthusiasm (my favourite TV comedy shows) and key (read: my favourite) cast members:

From the 30 Rock gang we'd have Liz (Tina Fey), Tracy (Tracy Morgan), Kenneth (Jack McBrayer), and Jack (Alec Baldwin). From the The Office world: Michael (Steve Carell), Dwight (Rainn Wilson), and Andy (Ed Helms). From Everybody Loves Raymond: Ray (Ray Romano), Debra (Patricia Heaton), and Robert (Brad Garrett). And flying in from L.A. and Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry (Larry David).

Slash, Buckethead, and Edward Van Halen (my guitar heroes) all have cameos, of course.

The opening scene is shot at Ray's. Awesomeness must ensue.