Emerald City

Get a load of this crock. Dr. S. James Gates, Jr., a theoretical physicist at the University of Maryland, thinks we're actually living in a Matrix-like world.

You see, while doing research on something called supersymmetry, Gates discovered "the presence of codes in the equations of physics", much in the way you would run into DNA when studying an animal.

Don't believe him? I know, I don't even know what supersymmetry is, but if the following isn't proof of some sort, I just don't know what is:

Axl Rose, Buckethead, and Daft Punk are in talks to join forces in a pwoject tentatively titled Emerald City. As a point in fact, they've set their sights on becoming the wold's most weclusive band.

Gene Simmons of KISS fame has claimed to have discovewed the band and that he suggested they call themselves Dowothy's Suga Daddy. Axl Wose, who is Emerald's designated spokesperson, has wemained mum on the matter.

Axl's old band Guns N' Woses, in the meantime, will be inducted into the Wock and Woll Hall of Fame on Apwil 14 in Cleveland, OH. Simmons, who has bought out the wights to the fwanchise, has pewsonally awwanged fo the band to be inducted by none othew than Jewwy Spwingew.

Now, go to Google Translate, type in your name, and have it pronounced in Fwench.

My 3 all-time guitar heroes

In its list of the "100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time", Rolling Stone placed Edward Van Halen at #8, Slash at #65, and omitted Buckethead altogether. Needless to say, that list is wrong.

Lists usually are, except when a list is made by you. Then stuff is sweet. Then stuff is right. So I'll just go ahead and make my own list and title it "My 3 All-time Guitar Heroes":

#3 Buckethead
Kudos to Axl Rose for exposing me to Buckethead. For a while Buckethead played lead guitar for the new Guns N' Roses and when he didn't anymore, I made a point of finding more Buckethead music on Youtube. When I stumbled upon a video of Buckethead prancing on stage with the new Guns N' Roses wearing a cape, I just knew: me and him, we're gonna be tight.

"Big Sur Moon" from the album Colma (1998):




#2 Edward Van Halen
I knew of Van Halen. I heard them on the radio – "Panama" – and I thought the video clip for "Hot for Teacher" was funny. I also thought they were loud, but that their music also brimmed with personality. Only much later did I find out that the Van Halen brothers hailed from Holland (which made perfect sense once I pronounced "Van Halen" the Dutch way), had some Indonesian in them, and that to properly appreciate Edward's playing you needed to hear it through earphones: If you close your eyes you can see sunshine and orange trees and scantily clad ladies dancing to his guitar. A musician's musician, Edward's playing continues to evolve and mature over time.

"Once" from the album Van Halen III (1998):




#1 Slash
Slash got me through puberty and for that alone I owe him everlasting allegiance. He continues to be an inspiration even today: professionally, personally – he's not infallible; I know he's not, but he has also no qualms of grabbing life by the cojones. I saw Slash live at Istora Gelora Bung Karno, Jakarta, on August 3rd, 2010 (set list). I walked in a fan with my hands trembling and walked away half-deaf and with respect: larger-than-life rock 'n' roll persona aside, turns out the man is a consummate pro.

Slash covering "Hey Joe" at the UK Music Hall of Fame (2005):

So I saw 'Body of Lies'

I went to see it basically because I heard If The World, a new song from the new Guns N' Roses, is played over the credit roll. When it finally, finally, was played I got only a snippety foretaste of a minute tops. Axl Rose has taken vocal lessons apparently, because instead of raspy and nasal as he used to be back then, he now sounds hoarse and nasal. The guitars were clinical and precise, too clinical and precise. But anyway...

The movie itself went for gritty and realistic, but it fell short in both departments.

(Running time: 128 minutes)